I Will Not Stop Roaring.

Timing is everything. Something my mom’s friend once said to me and my husband.

Growth cannot be forced. We are different people before and after every transformation, and we never know when those transformations are coming or who we will become. The right timing isn’t necessarily when you think it’ll be right, and most of the time it happens when you feel comfortable with your life. It’ll come when you least expect it, upend your whole life, and change your friends list. It will both have you curled in a ball on the floor sobbing, and feel like you’re flying, laughing and carefree. And everything in between.

Transformation is necessary and healing, but it is also trauma. Every big change you go through is traumatic, even those you don’t remember. I often wonder who I would be if I hadn’t been adopted. I don’t dwell, because this was how my life was supposed to unfold and I’m happy with that. It’s just interesting to think about who you’d be without the traumas in your life. But again, change doesn’t come without trauma and trauma builds you. Shapes you. Coming out of the adoptee fog, and simultaneously the narcissistic abuse fog, has been enlightening, uplifting, emotional, infuriating, and traumatic. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m grateful for this journey and I refuse to close back up and go back into the ground.

My voice will not stop roaring.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: